The Athenian

CWRU's humor magazine, est. 2000

The Official Decree

Regardless of where you are in the world, complaining is perhaps everyone’s biggest pastime. Whether it be big or small, we can always find something to complain about. I assure … Continue reading

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The new cwruathenian.com is almost here!

Tune back in a few days to see the new, redesigned, and revamped cwruathenian.com! In the meantime, please pardon our dust as we move around–maybe all you new students still … Continue reading

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Drugs are bad…mmkay?

Trust Me, I’m a Scientist: A column by Evan Martin As a man whose life goal is to become a professional pharmaceutical chemist, I spend a decent amount of time thinking … Continue reading

September 29, 2013 · Leave a comment

Aww Lorde Jesus, it’s a fire: 16-year-old singer rises in popularity

Dat Funky Music: A Column by Annie Nickoloff   When I was 16 years old, I was nerdy, had the worst hair and struggled with an occasionally breaking voice, which, retrospectively, … Continue reading

September 29, 2013 · Leave a comment

Bite My Shiny Metal…Knitting Needles

Curmudgeons on Parade: A Column by Hallie Dolin  Futurama rules. I’m saying that completely seriously, and without complaint. I just started watching it last week and I’m already hooked. Thanks … Continue reading

September 29, 2013 · Leave a comment

Cleveland Hosts 2013 National Señor Games

Mercurial Occurrences at Case: A Column by Archibald Samson A diverse array of señoras and señores descended on Cleveland for a zesty cornucopia of athletic competitions and frivolity. From July 21 … Continue reading

September 29, 2013 · Leave a comment

Japanese Horror Tales

Well, There Goes Japan: A Column by  Shinichi Atatakakunakattakara There are many strange and interesting mythological and urban legend traditions in Japan, and you’re probably familiar with a few of them. … Continue reading

September 29, 2013 · Leave a comment

The Ever-Present Demon Sacrifice or Why I Don’t Go to Horror Movies

Curmudgeons on Parade: a Column by Hallie Dolin   I took a big step last weekend, making a choice everyone faces at some point: to scare or not to scare? … Continue reading

September 29, 2013 · Leave a comment

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