CWRU's humor magazine, est. 2000
Mercurial Occurrences at Case: A Column by Archibald Samson
A diverse array of señoras and señores descended on Cleveland for a zesty cornucopia of athletic competitions and frivolity. From July 21 to Aug. 1, Tostitos estimates that over 10,000 high-spirited Hispanics came through the Forest City for the ten-day smorgasbord of sports and sauciness.
Sponsored by Humana, and jointly hosted by the Cleveland Convention Center, Cleveland Public Hall, Cleveland State University, and, of course, our own Case Western Reserve University, the National Señor Games celebrated twenty-one of our favorite pastimes, as well as a very specific, delicious slice of America’s diversity pie (APPLE pie, mind you). Those present on CWRU’s campus found it difficult not to notice – and enjoy – the pungent mixture of sweat and salsa funneled through our storied twelve-story wind turbine. Many of the strange, exciting odors experienced by those of the Late Summer CWRU (Crew) originated in the Veale Athletic Center and diffused out onto Van Horn Field. It is worth noting that a Taco Bell stand outside of Veale may also have been partly to blame for the smell. Here, the vaunted conquistadores of competitive recreation provided irrefutable testaments to their personal and cultural mettle in the intense, Latin-rooted sports of basketball, table tennis, and horseshoes.
At the other venues, the events were even more enthralling than those at CWRU, as contestants locked horns in intense contests ranging from of overzealous bouts of badminton to the blindfolded burrito bowl bash (which entails far more tequila than I am legally allowed to mention in one column).
Spectators and competitors alike concurred that all participants displayed admirably tenacious and sportsmanlike attitudes leaving the many attendees pleading for just one last game of shuffleboard. However, CWRU students opined that the overall atmosphere at this year’s Señor Games was far more festive than competitive.
Rising CWRU junior Albert Affulbee recalls being hit smack in the face by an errant bocce ball thrown by a 55-year-old Chilean woman, while watching from the bar at Freeway Lanes – the location of the bowling and bocce ball events.
“What really struck me about my experience at the 2013 Señor Games– well besides that bocce ball of course –“ he held an icepack over the left side of his face while wincing and smiling at the same time, before continuing, “was the gusto that all the competitors brought to the table. You could tell they really loved what they were doing, and there was a complete lack of rivalry between any contestants. Really fun to watch, probably the best thing I experienced on campus all summer. Well, that and the equally impressive make-your-own-taco buffets they brought out – picnic style – there was even shrimp! Simply amazing! I really can’t say enough about –” This was the last statement I was able to record as I immediately scampered off to locate the mythical shrimp tacos he spoke of.
In other, unrelated news, Mi Pueblo turned a profit on sales of alcohol for a ten-day period for the first time this fiscal year.
Reported and investigated by Archibald Samson, independent mind.